I have a love-hate relationship with the sun. I love it on cool, autumn days when it slices through the air temperature to warm my goose-bumped skin. I love it after a cold, dark winter when its rays bring with it the renewed life of spring. I love the way it tones my skin as I lounge and play under its long summer light. I love the way it sparkles off the gentle waves on a quiet lake. I love the way it paints the sky as it rises and sets. Without the sun our planet would be a frozen wasteland in which none could survive. Without its light our plants couldn't produce the oxygen which we breathe. I love it when it's good for me and meets my needs and pleasures.

But that very same sun burns my skin when I linger underneath it too long. I hate it when it turns summer days into a sweltering, sweaty sauna. I hate how it incessantly beats down its heat through the cloudless skies as I hike through the desert. I try to hide in the shade or the air conditioning, but it's always there with its perpetual blaze and its ultraviolet rays. When it makes me uncomfortable or irritated, I turn against my once celebrated ally.

But isn't this also how I treat God? I'm a huge fan when it suits me and meets my needs and makes me feel comfortable and accepted. But when things aren't going my way or I feel like I can do fine on my own, I'm content to live without Him. Not literally without Him. Certainly He continues to uphold me and provide for me despite my traitorous betrayal, which only credits His faithfulness. But I live practically without Him. I forget to pray, or purposefully don't waste the time. I lose sight of His subtle, sovereign workings and attribute them to my own ingenuity or happy coincidence. I turn against the very source of life when in reality He's what I need the most. I'm reminded how fickle my affections really are. I'm reminded how quickly forgetful I can be. I'm reminded that my greatest consistency is my inconsistency. The part that I hate the most is the love-hate relationship.

"The discontented person thinks everything he does for God too much, and everything God does for him too little." ~ Thomas Watson, Contentment

"Indeed, there is no middle ground between these two: either the world must become worthless to us or hold us bound by intemperate love of it. Accordingly, if we have any concern for eternity, we must strive diligently to strike off these evil fetters." ~ John Calvin

Every now and then everybody needs something in life to remind them they're not perfect. As one of my professors says, "It's for your sanctification." Well for me, that was today....

When you're low on income you try to take every shortcut you can. So when the "Oil Change Required" warning came up on my car, rather than spend $25-30 at a Quick Lube place I swung over to Walmart to pick up a filter and enough oil to do the job myself. This warm sunny day I gathered my tools and equipment convinced I could score an easy victory and call it a successful afternoon. After all, I've changed my own oil before so I knew what I was doing, and plus I was being financially responsible. I emptied my oil pan without too much of a mess. The filter was off and the new one back on easy enough. I confidently refilled the tank with my new oil proudly considering the efficiency of my accomplishment. I started the engine and hit the system check button on my dash. That's when I heard the awful sound. It was just a computerized beep tone, but it was a beep that meant something was horribly wrong. The message read "Oil Pressure Low" and a glance to see the pressure gauge bottomed out confirmed it. That could only mean one thing. I quickly turned the car off and went around the passenger side to see, sure enough, 5-quarts of brand new oil streaming down the inclined parking lot. I quickly spent a whole roll of paper towels mopping up as much as I could hoping nobody would drive by.

A humbling hour and another 5-quarts later I finally got my car back in working order. It turned out I didn't notice the old gasket was still stuck on when I screwed the new filter on so it didn't make a solid seal. Fortunately, it was an easy fix. Unfortunately, I didn't end up saving any money after all. At least it's a mistake I won't make again, so maybe it will pay off in the long run.

“With regard to Jesus there are only two possible modes of behavior: either to believe that in him God encounters us or to nail him to the cross as a blasphemer. There is no third way.”
~ Horst Georg Pohlmann regarding Christ's claims to divine authority

When I told our maintenance guy, David, that I was in seminary, the first thing he said was, "Oh I'm sorry if a swore a couple times." That's the first thing my neighbor from Merrimack, crazy Bill, said to me when I told him I was a pastor. Maybe it's time I take up swearing to throw off the stereotypes.

It's not often that books make me cry, but I closed this one with tears running down my cheeks. Not because he dies - I knew he died - but because I long to live my life with such passion and purpose. People don't get biographies written about them just because of how they died, but because of how they lived. Jim Elliot wasn't just martyred trying to take the gospel to a violent jungle tribe who had never heard it. He lived with a passion to share the gospel with everyone he possibly could, especially those who had never heard it. That passion, that purpose, met it's fulfillment when he willingly gave up his life pursuing the mission of his Creator. His martyrdom was the natural overflow of the life he lived. In youth group last spring, I told the teenagers perhaps the reason we're not persecuted for being Christians in America is that we're not being very good Christians. Perhaps if we took our mission a little more seriously, like Jim Elliot did, then maybe our opposition would take us a little more seriously. As it is, our comfortable, self-centered culture has lulled us into a tolerant silence so we can no longer tell the difference between Christ and the world. I wish we would stop living such a me-centered non-Christianity. I wish we would read more biographies of people who radically dedicated their lives to the mission of sharing the gospel. And naturally, we starting with me. I highly recommend this book. Prepare to be challenged and inspired. Pick it up. Seriously.